There are few experiences more miserable than being human wallpaper. Let me explain. During my trip to NYC this weekend I had a glimpse of what it must be to be good looking, skinny, and white in the USA. I spent a good deal of time in NYC with JB Mr. White Nipples Himself. He has all four of these qualities. He also attracts women of color like he has the scent of a 50 dollar bill permanently tattooed on him. He refuses to abide by the basic three S's of man hood. Shower, shave, switch your clothes. Dirty, unkept, and unshaven, the women were falling over themselves to get a look at him; like it was some lost episode of Sex and the City. There I was, working the sexy, hair freshly cut, face professional shaven at the barbershop, breath mint in my mouth and my million dollar smile. I was Human Wallpaper next to the reincarnation of Jack Kerowack. It was humiliating. I am tempted to try out JB Mr. White Nipples Himself's method but I know it will get me arrested on GP alone.

(Black to Anglo translation: GP=General Principle)