Boy, do I love my life. One of the greatest aspects of it these days is the fact that I am in control of my own free time. No one (except for my kids; they are the ones who are really in charge) can tell me what to do. Sometimes I feel as happy as a runaway slave. For awhile I had a partner in crime for my new found freedom, JB Mr. White Nipples Himself. We were both single and were experiencing the best found companionship which we called our "open platonic relationship." Other people just called us a married couple. I told JB that this was as good as it gets. I begged him not to fuck it all up by finding a serious relationship. Did he listen? No. So much for all of our late night games of Star Wars Battlefront. So much for the Aqua Teen marathons. Here's how it went down.

JB had been mentioning to me that he had someone he wanted to introduce me to for months. Not really wanting a serious involvement with anyone I didn't take him very seriously. I have to admit I was curious as the woman in question sounded fascinating. Little did I know that my genius husband (Mr. White Nipples) had a crush on her and thought she was out of his league. One night he wound up watching my kids for me for a few hours while I partied (long story). I get a call from him while I'm still out asking if it was ok to invite the woman in question over. Thinking he was finally getting around to introducing us, my curiosity was peaked. When I finally made it home there the two of them were looking as if I had just interrupted a long kiss.

JB you sly dog you. Now, I really didn't care at all but I had to wonder what the deal was. JB had just broken a serious rule of the "guy code." Don't start a thing with a woman you've promised to introduce to someone else. Give them a chance to fuck it up first! But hey, he's a young guy and probably hasn't been to all of the meetings yet.

The woman, who I will now refer to as Yolgamatic 2000, turns out to be a wicked cool person who is very easy to talk to.

Fast forward a month or two to the present day. Yolgamatic 2000 and JB Mr. White Nipples Himself are now officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Last night the two of them decided to ambush me at my house. I love having company so this was no issue. I guess JB was feeling guilty for having blown me off the night before for Yolgamatic. He had said he was going to come over but that he had to call Yolgamatic first. I don't hear from him at all and he is a no-show to my house. Turns out she had brought him a burrito which he took in hook, line, and sinker.

"Of course she brought you a burrito!", I yelled at him the next day. "That's her job to get you to come over! We had plans you dingbat."

So, here they are at my house. Some kind of deal was struck between the two of them earlier that night to allow him to spend some time playing video games. This is all a guess to me as Yolgamatic suddenly seemed like she was waiting out a prison term once we started up the gaming.

Now I can't really blame her entirely for what transpired next as this was their night to spend time together and I had nothing really to do with them being over. I thought we were all just going to sit around and talk. JB had an ulterior motive. Still I was having too much fun playing my game to care. Something must have really set the timer into red on Yolgamatic's patience as she started to verbally complain about how bored she was. At one point she looks at JB and tells him that it was his last game. JB being the sly fox he is just said ok and still wound up playing another game anyway. This tap dance went on for at least 30 minutes after her initial ultimatum. My head was almost spinning from witnessing what two people have to do to in a relationship.

Looong after they were gone I stayed up for another two hours playing the same game. Why did I do that? Because I could! JB most likely had his hands full with Yolgamatic for the rest of the night. I had my hands full with my Dual Shock 2 controller.