Oh Treo. I thought you could help me. Guess we all have our limitations. :-(

This is going to be a short one. Lately I've been loosing a ton of weight and am getting back to my streamlined self again. There are many factors for this such as going off re-uptake inhibitors two years ago, becoming a born again vegan, quitting a miserable job, and having a steady martial arts teaching practice again. One final factor that I credit is shedding myself from a group of fat friends I had a few years back. I tell you it's not great being the thinnest fat person in a group of fat fat people. Even the wives shopped at Layne Bryant. There are three sizes at Layne Bryant: Large, Jumbo, and You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me. Sorry Dumbo. Thin is in. I feel and look great. "No Senior! It's too Sexy" "But I must."

There. That should have brought me my ticket to hell.

Ok. so maybe I didn't get my flying car as promised. My mother always said that I felt somewhat entitled in life anyway. George Jetson you got off lucky this time. Just as I was ready to make my way over to Toon Town to have it out with you I wind up falling in love. And not just your everyday ordinary love but the soul mate kind falling in love. My new love is from New York City just like me. My new friend and business partner Anoush introduced me to her. After a week of bliss together in Los Angeles I think I'm ready to introduce us as a couple to the world.

Friends, family, and others meet my new fiance. Her name is Treo. I had thought my iPod and I would be together forever just on looks alone. Sorry iPod. I will always love you but you have to admit that the communication is very one way. You talk and talk but I rarely get a click in when you talk to me. It was your sheer sexiness that got us through this far. And the fact that you have incredible taste in music. Treo may have absolutely no musical taste but she's quite the looker herself. And on top of that she'll talk your ears off whenever you need good conversation. With one click she knew everyone I've met in the last ten years and bothered to pay attention enough to tell me if I've got a task to do or an important appointment. Love has never been so easy and a lover has never given me so much.

So George. Peace out homie. Your off the hook for now. If you really want to make nice with the young jujitsu master you can send Rosie over to help me with the house cleaning. Treo is perfect and beautiful but she's not much of a cook.