A self-satirical train wreck that you can witness word by word...

And for those who doubt my son Armand Bovoso, indeed he is part Black. I'm Black and Italian. Armand is Black, italian, and Ukranian Jewish. Send me an email if you can't accept this.



Anxiety


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About two years ago I started suffering from anxiety attacks for no apparent reason. Well, that's not 100 percent true. There were obvious stressors in my life at that time. Just the same when a panic attack hits you there is no rationalizing with it. Your body goes in to fight for flight mode with the emphasis on flight. The panic is so debilitating that there is little you can do to carry on with your life when you are in the midst of it. I had gained some level of control over my attacks until the last couple of weeks when they started to return. I have had several days of being unable to leave the house until something larger than my needs necessitated it. Describing an attack is a very subjective and personal thing. Not the same for everyone. For me, imagine a lingering and very present fear of nothing in particular that resides in your chest. Then imagine being afraid of the passage of time and what needs to be done in the coming hour. Imagine your heart beating out of its chest when the phone rings. Imagine the clock becoming your worst enemy. Imagine willing to take or do almost anything to make these feelings stop. If you can imagine these things you can have a sense of what I'm feeling as I write this now.


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